Don't be absurd!
by cassie.hack
Summary: Just my idea of what might happen if Miranda had romanced Jacob after ME2 and she met Shepard years after the end of ME3...


**"Don't be absurd!"**

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_A/N: Sorry, couldn't come up with a better name... :) Another one of those ideas I just had and another story I won't look at after uploading it... haven't really read it over so there might be weird stuff in it, don't know... I just had a moment before playing ME3 that I feared Miranda could be in a relationship with Jacob (yeah, I saw the look you gave him while preparing for the Suicide Mission!), just like Isabela starts hooking up with Fenris in Dragon Age 2 if you don't romance either one of them, had me worried there for a second... :) And now I realize that Jacob doesn't even have a line in there... poor guy... So that's basically how I'd picture a reunion after playing the games as femshep and not being able to flirt with Miranda throughout the games...  
This one-shot (and this time it is one, I promise :) ) is slightly different from the other stories (don't worry, I'm working on them as well...), so don't be surprised. I actually realized how depressing the story would get after writing the first couple of sentences, so I just added Garrus, hope it helps...  
Not the best story but I just had to get it out of my head... :)_

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"Commander Shepard, over here!"

Shepard inhaled deeply at the familiar voice but still obliged and turned towards the fastly approaching reporter.

Khalisah Bint Sinan Al-Jilani shoved her way through the party guests standing together in groups until she'd reached Shepard who was casually leaning against a table, a drink in hand, under a holographic banner welcoming the guests to the gala in remembrance of the end of the Reaper wars five years ago.

"Commander Shepard, the galaxy is still waiting to hear what really happened on the Citadel the day we defeated the Reapers. Don't you think this event would be the perfect opportunity to exclusively tell our audience the whole story?" she started while already scrolling through her prepared questions.

Shepard gave a short, sad laugh and shook her head, absent-mindedly touching the scar on her forehead, her constant reminder of those events. With the shortage of medical supplies after the defeat of the Reapers, she'd refused to let Dr. Chakwas treat her non-lethal wounds, the consequences of that decision luckily mostly covered by the uniform she was wearing today. Looking around, it was hard to tell that there actually had been a war only five years ago. With most of the allied troops stranded on earth, the rebuilding hadn't taken as long as expected and so, only five years later, they were able to hold this gala and celebrate their "victory", the guest's only concerns that day being the fear that someone else might be wearing the same dress... Shepard raised the glass to her lips again.

"I've already told you all there is to say, Ms. Al-Jilani. All I can remember is waking up in a pile of rubble and debris and that's where the ground troops found me. I've never been on the Citadel, I can't tell you what happened..." she told the reporter what she'd told (with a few exceptions) everyone for the last five years.

The reporter shook her head. "I should have expected this..." she muttered. "Too bad no one else can tell me what really happened. And I've already asked Ms. Lawson and Mr. Taylor..." Shepard's head shot up. A smile appeared on Khalisah's face. "Don't tell me you haven't seen them yet? And here I thought this whole thing was a big reunion party..." She nodded towards Garrus who was standing on a table nearby. Shepard's eyes lit up and she roughly shoved past the startled reporter and approached her old team mate.

"Garrus, I... I didn't see you there..." she started, nervously scratching her arm but Garrus simply shook his head and patted her on the shoulder.

"Don't worry about it. I wasn't sure you'd want to talk to anyone, so I kept my distance... I'm glad you made it, though. I was starting to worry I'd have to drink all by myself today." His mandibles twitched as he smiled at her.

Shepard swung her arms around her old friend. "I'm glad you're here," she murmured against his chest.

"Wouldn't miss it... Now..." He held her at arms length. "How have you been?"

"Well, _Primarch_ Vakarian..."

Garrus shook his head and shuddered. "Don't even get me started! You know that's all your fault, right? If we hadn't defeated the Reapers, I wouldn't have to behave myself in public nowadays..."

A smile appeared on Shepard's face. "True. Personally, I could do without those events too, but there's not much else to do these days..." She sighed. "I miss being up there... Exploring uncharted worlds, needing only a couple of minutes to get an asari wine from Thessia and be back in the Sol system for dinner... Do you think they're close to finish at least one of those Relays soon?"

"I highly doubt it." He chuckled. "I recently saw a salarian ship trying a light jump through the prototype and I think they at least managed a small hop before the ship came crashing back down. No casualties, of course... Lucky bastards..." He shrugged his shoulders. "Well, I guess our families back home will have to hold out a little longer..." And as he noticed Shepard's sad expression, he added, "But I'm sure they're fine. We still had parts of the krogan army on Palaven when we were cut off, and seeing what krogans were capable of in the old days... I'm sure they've rebuilt most of my homeworld already. Deserts and Thresher Maws included..."

Shepard's laughter made some of the heads turn and she stopped abruptly as she recognised dark hair and blue eyes among them. Miranda Lawson gave a shy smile before she turned back around again, tightening her grip on Jacob's arm. The couple was standing by the bar where an old lady was talking to them and just at that moment pointed at Miranda's belly, smiling warmly. Jacob nervously rubbed the nape of his neck while Miranda embarassedly waved her off.

"Look who's here..." Garrus murmured as he followed Shepard's gaze. She quickly turned back to her companion, swallowing the rest of her liquor in one large gulp.

"So..." she started but realized she had no idea how to change the topic.

Garrus smiled. "You know, you could just go over there and talk to her..."

Shepard ran a hand through her hair. "Who?" she asked, her voice a bit too high and nervous for her own taste.

Garrus gave a short laugh before he grabbed two filled glasses from the nearby table and handed one to Shepard, taking the other, empty one out of her shaking hand. "Right..."

"Don't they have a pyjack shooting range or something like that outside? I could use the distraction..." Shepard longingly stared at the door leading out of the hall and into the garden surrounding the house.

"Well..." Garrus put his already empty glass back on the table. "We could sneak out and snipe some bottles from the roof like we did on the Citadel five years ago... I've got my sniper rifle right outside in my skycar..."

"Garrus, I love you!"

* * *

"Shit!" Shepard desperately splashed more water on her uniform. _Turns out, not being on active duty for a while _does_ make you slow... And ruins your aim..._ She thought as she remembered the liquor bottle exploding right in front of her, covering the better part of her uniform with its contained substance. _Ugh, I smell like I'd done what I had actually planned to do... Although then my mind would be happily clouded right now and I wouldn't worry about smelling like a cheap tavern... _She sighed. _I need a drink!_

The door to the women's restroom opened and Shepard quickly ducked her head, hoping whoever had entered the room wouldn't notice the celebrated "Savior of the Galaxy" standing by the sinks, trying to get rid of the almost overpowering smell of alcohol on her.

"Shepard?"

The adressed person winced at the familiar Australian accent before she turned around, straightening her uniform.

"Miranda, what a surprise..." Shepard forced a smile while hoping the black of her uniform would camouflage the soaked fabric.

Miranda seemed to be as nervous as Shepard herself as she placed a hand on her hip, obviously uncertain about what to do or say next. "Are you drunk?" came her careful question.

_Not nearly enough! _"Me? No, that's just..." She waved her hand through the air. "Some of the guests spilled her drink on my uniform, so... yeah..." She bit her lower lip while uncertainly bobbing her head.

"It's been quite some time..." Miranda started, averting her eyes.

"It sure has..." Shepard agreed, crossing her arms over her chest and leaning against the sink. "You look good... I mean, you seem to do fine... You and Jacob are still a couple I see... I'm glad for you."

Miranda nodded, biting her lower lip while still evading Shepard's eyes, taking a sudden interest in the floor under her heels. "Yes. We're doing great, actually... The Alliance has offered us both positions after..." Her voice trailed off.

Shepard realized that she'd started nodding again and forced herself to stop. "That's right, we hadn't much time to talk after the Collector base and... during the Reaper war... I'm glad it worked out for you two... Your new jobs, I mean," she hastily added.

"Yes... Everything's just fine," Miranda said as she finally locked eyes with Shepard, the two of them staring at each other in silence for a few seconds before she cleared her throat. "I was just..." She pointed at the sink.

"Oh, sure." Shepard took a step aside, letting Miranda approach the sink and start washing her hands. The sudden movement wafted her familiar smell towards Shepard, causing her to involuntarily inhale it deeply.

Miranda closed her eyes momentarily, aware that Shepard's eyes were still on her. She swallowed once and, realising that the lump in her throat hadn't vanished, she cleared her throat once more. She forced a smile. "May I...?"

An amused smile on her face, Shepard reached for a towel behind her and handed it to her former XO.

After hastily drying her hands and placing the towel on the sink, she took a step backwards and motioned towards the door behind her. "I should..."

Shepard nodded slowly, the smile still prominent on her face.

"It was good to see you again, Shepard."

"Yeah..." Shepard's smile widened. "You too, Miranda."

Miranda bit her lower lip and nodded once before she turned and left the room, Shepard's eyes following her until the door hissed shut behind her.

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_A/N: I could leave it at that, but still decided to add some more, pick whichever ending you prefer... :)_

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**Extra:**

Shepard contemplated her appearance in the mirror one last time before she turned towards the door of the women's restroom. At least she'd managed to get rid of the stench... Still feeling way too sober for an event like this, she decided to head straight to the next table and grab whatever liquor was being offered there while she waited for the door to open.

The door hissed open and Shepard felt a hand shove her back into the restroom again. A sound indicated that the door had been locked from the inside but Shepard didn't have enough time to process that information as her back roughly hit the wall closest to the door. Soft lips were on hers only seconds later while a warm body pinned her to the wall.

Regretfully realizing that they both needed air, their lips parted for a second, both of them panting heavily.

"Well, that was... unexpected..." Shepard stated and felt Miranda smile against her neck.

"Do you want me to go?"

A smile spread across Shepard's face. "Quite the opposite, my dear... quite the opposite..."


End file.
